Friday, May 26, 2006
its the first time i cried while im driving home... after fetching justin home, i make a turn to harbour front and stare at the sea... Tears juz keep droppings... Ever since i went in poly, life have change.. and i really mean change... I dun get the free time that i used to have anymore... somemore dar and me juz lidat drifted apart... Hais... She wanted loved and security, but i cant juz give her... We can even hardly meet up for a stroll and even shopping... I really feel im alone... No one is supporting me behind... Anytime i might juz fall out of poly and i really mean anytime.. i seriously cant take it anymore... What is the meaning of faith and trust? Do u have that for me? i palce my trust and faith in u all along that u wont flirt with other guys and i mean it.. But u? u juz cant trust wat i say... U know why i so pissed juz now? its becos u nv trust me.. Anything, u juz tell jj, xl or kelly.. what abt me? you also nv tell me anything.. Hais.. I dunno why, u can tell things to ur friends and dun tell me. How come i cannot dun tell u what i tell my friends?
If u really wanna know somethin, then i tell u this.. I might juz die anytime cos im breathing heavily at sometime during lecture.. Plus i also get heart pain at times... And i really mean pain like the heart is tearing apart... I also dreamt that i died in a car accident.. To tell u the truth, things that i dreamt sometimes come true but its juz a matter of time.. BUT I dun wan your concern since u dun trust me anymore... Dun even waste ur sms or call me asking how im feeling after u read this...
Cos of 1 china girl word make u so upset... Have u think of my feelings? Everytime u tell me kelly things, u tell me the guys u meet while at job, i also feeling like crying.. But i know you wont flirt cos i trust tht u wont... Why cant u juz trust me? Hais.. Since u wanna think, i also cant stop u... I know u want my old me back, but u have to give me time to adapt to the poly life... Let me tell u another thing bah, in less than 3 weeks time, i'll be having my exam le.. 5 subjects in 1 week... Stress or not is up to u to decide... If u think i have alot of time but juz dun wan to spend with u then wait till u come poly, then u tell me... Hais... Hope u take care of yourself well...
Love is like a knife
it can stab the heart
or it can curve wonderful images
into the soul
that will last a lifetime